notmyheart/

thisisnotmyheart

My name is Frank Fan(Fun)! Thanks for visiting my blog but please if you don't like anything just keep it to yourself:D Don't judge me cause you don't know me well enough!(Most of you).:D Enjoy your time here!

Friday, 27 July 2012 @ 09:59
I'M SORRY!

Jieying,

I'm sorry.It was my fault to text you telling you shes angry then when you came over I told you you got fooled.Sometimes when I talk I just don't think that is why I always get into trouble like this. Please pardon me for my words. I'm really guilty. I know you how bad your felt when I said those words I'm sorry. I did not mean to do it. I rushed back to the busstop to try and say sorry to you but I guess it was kinda useless. I'm sorry I'm just bad at expressing myself. Be it words or actions. I did not just straight away just say sorry face to face like that does not mean I don't cherish our friendship. I'm just really really bad at expressing myself. But honestly I'm really guilty. I know that the chances of your going to read this is super low but still I would post this. Trust me when I say I'm guilty. I walked home from that busstop to reflect on what I have done I'm really sorry. I learnt my mistake please forgive me:X I want our friendship back!

With ♥,

Frank

P.S Please do forgive my reckless behavior.

Monday, 23 July 2012 @ 06:43
LONG LONG POST IN A LONG LONG TIME!

Oh my oh my. Its been ages since I posted at this blog! Sorry always can't seem to make time to type even a short little post here even though I have tonnes of time wasted walking around the school with people:X
Monday (16/8/2012):
IT IS MY BIRTHDAY!!!!~~~~ But sad to say not much people remembered. Even my closest friends in secondary school does not remember it says a lot about them:D But well I have got an awesome bunch of friends who remembered! YAY! Most of them wished me at midnight,on facebook,twitter and all. Some even wished me 2/3 times ^^ The sweetest thing was Chelene called me to wish me Happy birthday at 1907, my actual birth time ♥ Hehe This Okay Can clique ah so cute gave me my present, 3 topman shirt, in this undergarment box!!!! And it was wrapped in so many layers! Here is a few photo of the present wrapped and unwrapped:D Enjoyed my birthday with them :D Can't wait for more awesome things to come! :D ♥ All of ya!

Tuesday 17/7/2012
Don't remember much about that day but I remembered we ended our practical super early cause the lecturer had no idea what to go through... So after that went to Island Creamery to eat ice cream with Jiayun,Jieying,Shiyen and Jieni! :D Had strawberry sorbet? It taste like weird I swear!-.- Then chelene came to meet jieying after her class ended. Treated her to cookie and cream and mango sorbet:D After that wanted to follow the two of them to dinner at BTP KFC but did not want to disturb their er ren shi jie:X in the end went home and then was told there is a guitar fair in school but then it was too exp so did not go back to take a look at it:X (I still need to get a new guitar though:X)

Wednesday 18/7/2012
Had IS in the morning. Did not need to hand in any assignments so it was a darn boring lesson. Totally wasted 4 hours stoning there. 2 more lessons of IS and its done with! Hopefully I can get that A:X After that got chelene to accompany me for lunch but then she did not eat cause her ah gong cooked lunch already. Then I buy food then this girl say she tempted and tried to cope my food then end up it landed on the table instead of her mouth hahaha. Jieying joined too cause her IS was in the afternoon at 1pm. Since everyone was skipping society training that day cause APS test was on the next day. I took 174 all the way to Jurong Point and studied alone at learning corner..... :( But could not concentrate well cause it was tired and dam sleepy:X

Thursday 19/7/2012
We had our APS test on 3 chapters today. Ended up the test machiam like test only 1 chapter-.- And touched on a bit of the other two chapters only:X Lucky had bio background:X APS test was rather alright I would say:X Then went home and 'studied' for MST test the next day.

Friday 20/7/2012
Met up Jieni,Jingtian and Jiayun at 8.30 to study for MST cause did not actaully study dao the previous night.... Then ended up skipping a DAM IMPORTANT LECTURE ON IPC! FMLLL!!!! So dead I have to revise that chapter on my own already:x Suprising MST test was rather straight forward? But the parts of the questions had very high weightage. There was a part of the question which was 12 marks! Scary! This friday was rather boring? Slacked around with Jieni and Jieying until Jieying had to go for Operation Juvi. Then went to find jiayun then went to play pool with sotong yun while jieni followed cause she was just too bored haha! :X played for an hour plus then returned back to school because jiayun had to pass up her comiss. So went to student plaza to find Jieying then jiayun left with jueru?:O And then met up with chelene at munch then jieying and her went for guitar. The 4 of us last minute plan to go watch Ice Age 4 but chelene refused so only jieni,jieying and me went to watch at Yishun GV. OMT I swear its dam cute!!!!! Nice quotes do! "Only if I'm dead! Plus 3 more days to make sure!" Hahaha cute! After that had our macdonald freast! (Inside joke) Heres a photo on all the food! :D

Was eating happily until a housefly landed beside me and then onto one of the fingers I was using to hold my burger-.- Grossed me out....... And then again long train home to bukit batok-.- Fell asleep on the train. I always fall asleep at this time while taking the train from that area cause there are very little people on board:D Hehe

Saturday 21/7/2012
Woke up super late and did not know what to do.... Had no plans as usual sighs.... Everyone is busy when I'm free... Hate it! OH WAIT I just remembered. Went to town with dad cause he needed to do something then headed down to chinatown for lunch! Yummy!:DD After that dad sent me to Jurong Point so I could study for my IPC practical today but ended up forgot to bring things so could not actually study. And I was sitting directly under the aircon cause it was the only seats left. The aircon was blowing directly into my eyes and I was like tearing and trying to revise my work-.- CMI Then waylon came by at 5.30:D Studied a while more then dad called and ask want to eat dinner or not then I just said yes because I was only left with 45cents and is lazy to withdraw money:x Sorry to PANGSEH waylon!:((

Sunday 22/7/2012
Woke up on time and started chionging INFO the whole morning.Got most of the things done:D Yay! Then in the afternoon got an inpromto tweet from Jiayun to meet at mac to eat and study. So just got ready and went down. Studied awhile(talking most of the time) and headed to JP to cut fringe. Actually jiayun wanted to cut side fringe if I was to cut bangs. But then she cheated my feelings and did not cut bangs:( But actual fact was that the stylist said that she did not have parting so could not cut side fringe so I could not do anything lo. But then I still feel cheated:( Always being fooled by people.

Monday 23/7/2012
Today's post I shall continue writing when I get back from my jog! HAHAHA:D

Friday, 4 May 2012 @ 00:00

Tiring day yesterday man! Went for a jog and vomited after that because I just had a full lunch-.- Then went out for dinner and movie with Jaclyn,Ernest,Wanyu & Zen:D Watched The Avengers!Zen treated us to the movie:D Thank you!

Don't know why but I did not feel right while watching the movie. People laugh at scenes and I will just stone there with no expression, no idea why... Felt so awkward while watching the movie almost fell onto the guy beside me when walking into the seats and kicked him again when watching the movie-.- And the thing is I had to sit beside him for like 140 mins? Anyway after that took the last train home and almost had to walked home from JE because I thought the last train to Bukit Batok has already left:X

Went to watched movie with these people:D There are all awesome! Too bad forgot to take with Wanyu!:X <3 them.

Had been feeling so lonely ever since secondary three. Always had friends/cliques around me but then there are always closer to each other than to me? Or is it me being too sensitive? I don't really know. I just know that everyday I wake up there is always this sinking feeling that there is nothing to look forward in the day about. Maybe some days there are, like today, but most of the time there isn't. I'm always there for friends when they are down or need a listening ear but when I needed a listening ear or just some company no one is there for me. Sometimes when I tell friends this yes they will say "Hey I'm here for you but then deep down inside I know that they are just saying it to make me feel better."

PRAYER:Lord, I know I haven't always been faithful to you,praying every day but I hope that you know that I'm slowly beginning to believe in you. Well partly because I guess I have nothing else to believe in? But I just pray that you will get my family and friends around me always safe and happy.I pray that for those friends that were meant to be will see it and that they will be happy together.I pray that the quarrels and conflicts at home to lessen and that mum & dad do not always put me in the spot by using me as I way to anger the other party. I also pray that I have the endurance & the wisdom to do well in school so that I have,even if its the slightest, a chance to enter NUS Medical School. I know that in the end many of this things I have asked depends on me to happen so I shall try to work hard everyday towards my goals.In Jesus name I pray, Amen

Even to your old age and Gray hairs

I am he, I am he who will sustain you.

I have made you and I will carry you;

I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

-Isaiah 46:4

Sunday, 22 April 2012 @ 02:23

Testing post